#todaysconclusions 31/10/14

Thinking the gym is paying off, then realising your forearm is bigger because its bruised and swollen will make you sad.

Going out for Halloween will save you the hassle of opening the door to small children.

This is essential when you live with a young Frenchman and a white fluffy dog.

The random gifts I receive from the ‘rents every time I go round are getting bigger. This pleases me.

The price of paint (Dulux) is scandalous.

All the best laid plans in the world are scuppered by the wonder that is beer.

Thank the lord its the weekend.

Waiting for the 2nd Nov to come round is taking ages.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 30/10/14

I miss my dog.

Putting last nights chicken dough balls into a salad was an inspired choice.

Taking an elbow to the forearm will result in a dead arm and quite possibly a lovely bruise.

Getting excited about a new toothpaste is a sign that I need to do more.

Late night bacon could possibly be better than morning bacon.

Being informed that Drive is on BBC Three is a great end to the day.

Ryan Gosling is a lucky man.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 29/10/14

My piss aim is getting worse by the day.

If you want to embarrass yourself simply spill some coffee in the company of others.

Looking forward to pulling out a certain nose hair is the sign of a slow day.

I don’t utter the phrase “I’m talking to babes” enough for my liking.

Dogs appreciate a good fortune cookie.

The return of my Lego pirate ship was majestic.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 28/10/14

Finding my original Optimus Prime was the best start to any day.

French people can’t close freezers.

Having to smash your freezer with a hammer (again) due to an ice build up is fun and therapeutic.

M&S flapjacks are a thing of beauty.

Finally receiving a parcel after several weeks waiting is a lovely feeling.

Hoping someone else will appreciate what’s in the parcel is not a lovely feeling.

Finally saying goodbye to that toy box is a relief.

Prof. Brian Cox makes me want to learn more.

When all else fails, have a whiskey.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 27/10/14

Its perfectly acceptable to not get up early and go to the gym on a cold, dark Monday morning if your dog is sleeping on you…and he’s warm.

Always let sleeping dogs lie.

Finding out you’ve wiped paint on your new towels is not a great start to the week.

Unsuspected text messages can bring a big smile to your face.

Touching the check out ladies hand in Tesco will lead to an awkward packing process.

At this point always keep eye contact to a minimum.

I look pimping in my Star Wars PJ’s

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 26/10/14

Getting up and painting several walls of my house has meant that I have actually achieved something this weekend.

I find painting walls quite therapeutic.

I am very slow at painting walls.

Waiting for paint to dry takes a considerable amount of time.

Dogs will try and lick paint.

They will also eat dead flys.

Children’s toy chests can give you a hernia if you try to lift them whilst full.

Getting back into watching The Walking Dead was a good move.

Next weekend will be a paint-a-thon.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 25/10/14

At times of need my Jedi dressing gown is the one.

It’s amazing how much a man and dog can sleep on a sofa.

Not knowing if you friend has pissed his pants or spilt a beer makes for a tense few minutes.

Always look where you are going to sit.

I love my sofa.

There will never be a time when I won’t watch Back to the Future on ITV2.

I’d love to drive a Delorean.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 24/10/14

Newport is a lovely little place for a couple of drinks.

Taxi drivers are getting worse in MK.

Trying to explain to a man that doesn’t speak English where to go is tough.

Greenalls Gin and Tesco finest still lemon make a great little combo.

I won’t share a drink with a man who’s just come back from Thailand.

Knowing your mate is the MK version of Mark Fowler is tough.

Gary Horner’s beard is a phenomenon.

He now has a strange resemblance to Harry from Bigfoot and the Hendersons.

Throwing away half a kebab was a mistake.

I go home far to early in my old age.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 23/10/14

You’ve not seen the look of disgust until you devour a reduced deli chicken in front of someone with your bare hands whilst standing in the kitchen.

Still wearing your sweaty football kit will only add to the disgust.

I consume a lot of reduced deli chicken.

This is almost certainly the reason for my bad stomach.

This does not scare me.

There is such a thing as ‘French baguette snobbery’.

Dogs like jerk glazed ham.

Having this for breakfast is wrong for both humans and hounds

It will take me a solid month from getting a new phone to sorting out my hands free kit.

Hearing that your old work has shut its gates is depressing to hear.

I wish I was in Dubai.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 22/10/14

Sleeping through an alarm that plays noise and flashes light for 50 mins is a new personal best.

When you’ve gotta sleep, you’ve gotta sleep.

Handing in my resignation is becoming a regular occurrence for me.

I like to throw the back end out whilst on gravel.

I am not a rally driver.

It will take me a month to change a light bulb.

Dogs will try their hardest to obtain a lick of a Cornetto.

I don’t share Cornettos.

#todaysconclusions