Eating a can of tuna for breakfast will result in some suspect fish burps.
Trying to finish off 4 pints of milk will result in a milky beard.
The day I turn down a free bacon baguette is the day you can shoot me.
The day that I refused to listen to Huey Lewis – The Power of Love is also the day that you can shoot me.
Steak season is upon us
Staring at boobs and driving the wrong way is being too frequent in my day to day living.
#todaysconclusions
It’s always good to treat the Mumatron on Mother’s Day.
Bacon pick me ups are a good thing.
It’s great to see F1 back on my telly.
#todaysconclusions
Being woken up by a dogs diarrhoea is a terrible way to start the day.
Hosing a dogs bum down at 06:10 further cements this terrible start.
A work collegue bringing Bacon Sarnies in instead of birthday cake is a great way to turn your terrible morning round.
Going to the toilet whilst talking to my solicitor on the phone proves I am a man of many talents.
Foxcatcher is a bizarre film.
Channing Tatum does not look good with highlights.
#todaysconclusions
I can waste a lot of time playing with my Apple TV.
Vodka and Honeycomb is a delightful little tipple.
Always ensure someone is home before visiting.
I love creating the worlds best bacon sarnies.
My new tartan pyjamas are the greatest thing I own.
Dallas Buyers Club is a good film.
I get impressed by how some actors loose weight rapidly for film roles.
Setting up my new Alfred based screensaver on the telly has been a personal triumph.
#todaysconclusions
I miss my dog.
Putting last nights chicken dough balls into a salad was an inspired choice.
Taking an elbow to the forearm will result in a dead arm and quite possibly a lovely bruise.
Getting excited about a new toothpaste is a sign that I need to do more.
Late night bacon could possibly be better than morning bacon.
Being informed that Drive is on BBC Three is a great end to the day.
Ryan Gosling is a lucky man.
#todaysconclusions
A toasted cheese and pickle sandwich is a thing of beauty.
French lodgers are uneasy with me walking around in just PJ bottoms.
People need to embrace PJ bottoms.
My mum might have just created the worlds best/hottest bacon, sausage, pepper pasta dish.
This dish needs a name.
There is always a character in a TV programme that you would love to smash in the face.
#todaysconclusions
Having someone cook you a double bacon buttie in the morning is a major pick me up.
Dogs wake up and bark randomly quite a lot during the day.
It scares the crap out of you when they do.
The arrival of a new iPhone brings out the Mac geek in me.
The annoyance that the product isn’t mine was plain to see in the delivery mans eyes.
You need to take time out to understand what’s going on around you.
They aren’t enough people called ‘Chico’ in the world.
#todaysconclusions
Stalling outside a pub on a Friday will always bring an unwanted cheer.
It’s always good to have a catch up with mates after several weeks off.
Bacon, Tabasco, butter and a couple slices of brown bread make a good breakfast.
Several ciders at lunch make sense. #todaysconclusions
You realise you’ve become an old man when you look down whilst driving and your wearing beige chinos and listening to an audiobook on the stereo.
The narrator for the James Bond audiobooks is pretty boring.
Picking up several packs of reduced Bacon is a mans wet dream.
I get ‘grabby’ when others circle potential reduced bacon.
Having a ‘mare at football can be masked when the whole team is also having a howler.
People do not take heed of ‘Busy’ notices.
#todaysconclusions
#todays conclusions 