#todaysconclusions 30/06/14

Hitting a tiny bunny with my car this morning wasn’t the best way to start the week.

Bunnies need to learn to just run across a road and not turn back halfway across the road.

Everyone has a favourite cubicle to poo in at work. Mine is trap 5.

Drinking on a Sunday should be outlawed.

Waking up on the sofa is a result of a very comfy sofa and Carlsberg Export.

Candy crush saga requests are slower on a Monday. Sadly though they will come through.

I hate Candy Crush Saga requests.

Soprano Mondays are a great replacement from Game of Thrones Mondays.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 29/06/14

Bumping into your future sister in law is always a treat.

Apparently you can get aids from poo.

If I take a bottle of wine into someone’s house I will probably drink it.

Having to bathe your own dog in your parents bath due to his ability to find the nearest bird/any living animal shit is embarrassing for all concerned.

Alfred will always hate a bath.

Watching a child cry for something that is out of your control is always tough.

I want Serge’s hair.

I can’t wait for Kasabian’s closing set.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 28/06/14

Alfred returning home in an unexpected twist has been the gift of the day.

Dogs wiping bums on sofas is not part of that gift.

Waitresses with liquid stains in the nipple area of a white shirt will get a lot of attention.

3 new car tyres has hit me hard.

Free coffee is free for a reason. The reason being that its bloody awful.

Jamie Oliver’s food is very nice. He should be a chef or something.

When a 9yr old tells you a story, they will not tell you the short version. Years are lost during these talks.

A four egg omelette will always be too much for me. I’ll still eat it however and then I’ll moan about stomach ache later.

Being able to watch Glastonbury in my pants is the best.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 27/06/14

A Calippo plus my sensitive teeth and my inability to wait for it to melt will results in some comedic eating.

Seeing the gates down as you approach work when you are desperate for the toilet makes me consider ramming the gate.

Never trust anyone who doesn’t drink alcohol.

Never trust anyone who doesn’t like Lea n Perrins.

Good customer service is something I appreciate more in my older years. So much so that I’m writing about it now.

I watch Glastonbury every year. Every year I say “I’ll be there this time next year”. I never go.

I can’t wait for The Libertines at Hyde Park next weekend.

Completely rocking out to the Arctics when you have the work gym to yourself is awesome.

Realising someone has walked into said gym whilst you leap up whilst air guitaring will result in the music being turn’t down and my face going red.

My air guitar is improving.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 26/06/14

I’m a beige chino wearing gangster.

Slyly watching someone from your car will always make you look like a perv.

I could never go full on pervert. Part time, maybe.

The villages of Oxfordshire appreciate hearing The Doors – best of, very loudly from a passing car.

They also have no choice in this.

Always ensure that your frothy cappuccino is within reach before someone thinks it’s empty and bins it for you.

Oxygen is essential whilst playing football.

YouTube has some hidden gems in its vaults. If you don’t believe me check out http://youtu.be/5_JmXCNPs6Y

Laughing so much the back of your head hurts is a new one for me.

I’m pleased with the Man Utd purchases to date.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 25/06/14

The word ‘trollop’ doesn’t get used enough.

This is also the case for the phrase ‘hanky panky’.

I’m quite partial to a black coffee when the mood suits.

Two black coffees in quick succession will have me climbing the walls.

Realising you’ve forgotten half your lunch 30 mins into your commute will result in obscenities and other drivers looking at you oddly.

My reversing skills leave a lot to be desired.

If all else fails “Google it”.

My hunger for a tattoo grows.

However, my need to ‘man up’ to furfill this hunger  has not.

Don’t take things for granted.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 24/06/14

Taking a dog into a ‘No Dogs Allowed’ zone will result in everyone patting and stroking your dog. No one will ask you to leave the area.

This could be down to Alfred James Moon being totally adorable.

Always make sure you are not downwind when emptying a Dyson.

Moulting dogs can seriously clog a Dyson.

I’d make a fabulous house husband with my cleaning, tidying and cooking skills.

Doing this in record time leaves me the rest of the day to be a man.

Stevie Wonder does a great Beatles cover.

Victorian schools intrigue me.

Finally being able to see the end of the light with an unwanted joint mortgage is pleasing.

Deciding to run everywhere for a day takes me back to my childhood.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 23/06/14

Your girlfriend waking up and claiming there’s someone downstairs will put the willies up you at 04:30am.

Being the double hard bastard that I am, I will walk down the stairs in my pants making as much noise as possible to scare off the imaginary fiend.

I’m a lover not a fighter.

Dogs would bark if there was an intruder.

It’s official, tractors are the scourge of the Monday morning commute to work…if you work in the Cotswolds.

The weekend provides an abundance of newly slain road kill for the Monday commute.

Some of the sizes of these things would take out an Eddie Stobart truck.

Carb free dinners don’t fill you up.

Ironing your clothes after a long spell results in you finding some t-shirts you forgot you had.

Salmon and eggs is quite a nice tasting meal.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 22/06/14

Bacon sarnies on the BBQ are a thing of beauty.

Dusting off your Havianas means it is officially summertime.

The BBQ is mans greatest invention.

The choc ice is the second.

Spending a sunny day in your garden happens far too infrequently for my liking.

Modern technology means you can get a tan whilst watching the Grand Prix.

White dogs attract BBQ Sauce stains.

Long may this weather commence.

#todaysconclusions

#todaysconclusions 21/06/14

It’s official. I like olives.

The simplicity of dipping bread into olive oil and balsamic vinegar amazes and intrigues me.

Educating Charlotte on The Sopranos and Ray Donovan will only result in great television.

You can get a lot done on a Saturday when you don’t go to the pub.

Local shops are surprisingly cheap…and a stones throw from my home…hence the fact that they’re local.

I like tapas.

Parking in a new parallel spot is different and will almost certainly annoy a neighbour.

The sun makes dog poo hard and even tougher to find in long grass.

I mow the lawn to infrequently.

#todaysconclusions