My piss aim is getting worse by the day.
If you want to embarrass yourself simply spill some coffee in the company of others.
Looking forward to pulling out a certain nose hair is the sign of a slow day.
I don’t utter the phrase “I’m talking to babes” enough for my liking.
Dogs appreciate a good fortune cookie.
The return of my Lego pirate ship was majestic.
#todaysconclusions